How To Win Friends and Influence People

Much of peoples’ success is determined by how well they can influence other people – either winning them over to their opinions or shaping the way other people think about things. In our professional lives, we are faced with this challenge daily.

My clients often ask out of a sense of frustration how they can win people around to their way of thinking. One suggestion I make is to acutely observe a politician such as Barack Obama in action or to listen to and watch someone they admire tackle an issue. Make some notes about how Obama presents himself. Is his physical presence calm and steadfast or is it pacey like Hilary Clinton’s? How does he answer the question he is being asked? Directly - or skirting the main issue? What impression does he leave with you?

Watch and see if he uses the language of the interviewer with a steady pace, respectful tone, measured yet fluid movement. Notice when he quickens his pace and adds momentum to the dialogue; when he begins to add human or personal touches and language or images that we can all relate to. Notice if his physical movement matches his tone, his pace, his approach to the other person and see if any of it doesn’t feel or look quite right.

How does he make you feel watching him? Have a look here

Now, the next time you need to influence someone critical to you, how do you want to make them feel and what are you prepared to do to make it work this time? I find it helpful to remind myself that:

• People will not remember what you said,


• People will not remember what you did,


• But they will remember how you made them feel.

Takeaway Juice: What one action can you take today to influence how people feel about you?

What Does It Say On Your Tin?

Listening to Stephen Fry talk about the impact of Mandela the other evening, I was struck Fry's comment that there is a piece of Mandela in all of us, and that piece takes courage to show to others. Many of my clients ask me how they can be more inspirational as leaders. And something in Fry’s words clicked with me - leaders in business also have to show courage in their actions, and that they must be human beings first and foremost before they can invite people to follow them.

Mandela’s own leadership evolved when he moved from being a man of arms to a man of peace. That peace started from inside – from being more at peace with himself and accepting his long incarceration in jail with dignity – to showing other people how to reconcile themselves to their fellow South Africans.

Mandela’s tin shows courage in the face of adversity, a wicked sense of humour, an enduring presence and a voice which speaks up when others are afraid to. Africa and the world still listen to this frail ninety year old man.

Takeaway Juice: What does it say on your tin? What would you like your tin to say when you reach 90?

If you want to build a stronger, clearer personal brand, have a look at Career Distinction by William Arruda and Kirsten Dixson.

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Are Leaders Born or Made?

As a coach and leader for over twenty years, I have met many leaders who find themselves leading teams, having never envisaged that would be what they would end up doing when they started. Were they born leaders, or did they develop those skills?

Are they born?

Research shows there are characteristics that determine whether someone is cut out to be a leader. Usually, they would be evident by the time we are in our mid to late teens. The grit, the determination, the quickness of intellect are often visible by that point. There are other characteristics associated with great leadership that may not yet be apparent – the ability to inspire others; the ability to enjoying playing and collaborating with people; the maturity to appreciate the differences between yourself and other people.

Are they made?

Many illustrious leaders such as Jack Welch, Nelson Mandela and Anita Roddick would argue that it was in the face of adversity that strengthened their character. However, I believe the finest leaders are made. They are often made as a result of their particular experiences and the opportunities that life passes their way. But that isn’t quite the full story. The finest leaders also take a conscious decision to step into those leadership positions.

Sometimes, leaders have to learn the hard lesson that they need other people to help them achieve what is needed to get the job done. Often the more introverted leader finds this difficult. They want to be able to do it all themselves.

The leader who is very socially gregarious has to suffer the slings of rejection and to learn to accept the loneliness of being the one at the top.

One thing is sure from the body of evidence available, no matter how talented or how natural leaders are, there will always be areas where that they can hone their leadership skills if they are to continue to excel in their capacity as leaders.

Like true apprentices, leaders learn about 80 percent of their craft on the job. They learn by watching other leaders and integrating some of what they have observed into their own behaviour. They watch for highly effective role models and they seek out mentors. They are open enough to ask other leaders about how they handle situations.

Leaders learn by inviting feedback and learning from it. They modify their behaviour so that they get better results. They are not afraid to try things out and examine their own performance. Effective leaders keep themselves accountable for their own development. Effective leaders look for training programs that will help them develop specific skills that they can use on the job. Then, when they return to their work, they devote specific and deliberate effort to mastering in real life what they learned in the training room.

• So, what leadership talents were you blessed with?


• What leadership capabilities have you cultivated as a leader over the last year?


• Do you know what leadership competencies you are assessed on?


• Which ones are you valued for?


• What leadership skill or behaviour are you actively working on right now?


• What difference will it make to your ultimate success?

Pure Potential help develop leadership skills for individuals as wella s leadership within teams and organisations. If you would like to try a leadership skills assessment on your leadership capability or need support in honing your leadership skillset, why not give Olwyn a call on 01428 713 399 or email Olwyn@pure-potential.co.uk

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Managing The Young Guns: How To Handle The Millenial Generation

As another birthday approaches, I began to think about how we manage those that are of a different generation to ourselves. You will be aware of the generation group known as the Baby Boomers, born between 1946 and 1965. Now meet The Millenials, those born roughly between 1980 and 1995. They are also known as Generation Y and are the biggest section of the European workforce since the Baby Boomers.

Why are the Millenials important to leaders?

This generation is creating a cultural shift within companies and requires a more flexible management style. Many of these workers in their late twenties and early thirties are not intimidated by their bosses and expect to be free to think for themselves. They also demand more individualised mentoring and coaching than previous generations. Their approach to hierarchy is to assume that it is flat. They are not necessarily going to sit and wait for the next promotion either. They are often well connected outside their companies because they are technologically savvy and use all the new communication channels to network with likeminded people. Whether you see these attitudes as a problem or not, they are definitely a condition of the global marketplace.

How can leaders manage Millenials?

Leaders need to bring a more flexible mindset to this generation of worker. You as a leader need not feel threatened by the willingness of the Millenials to challenge your methods of doing things. Their energy can be channelled very usefully into offering new ways of doing certain things that may well need refreshing, such as how you recruit talent, how you conduct meetings and the types of training that you offer employees. Microsoft has its learning zones, Google gives their bright hopefuls access to its company co-founders and Eduserve expect their software developers to spend one day a week experimenting rather than working on assignments.

The Millenials are your future so if you want to attract the best and brightest talent from this group, you need to appreciate that they want a certain amount of freedom to act. They want room to develop their particular skillset and many of them, like any new generation, bring a vital energy, an irrepressible optimism and a determination just like we had a generation ago – but this time they won’t take no for an answer.

Seeing the Wood for the Trees

A2002 Harvard Business Review article, “Beware the Busy Manager” suggests that only 10% of us have the right combination of focus and energy that stops us wasting our time with “busy work” and keeps us focused on the real work that matters.

So how do you deal with this?

Invest time in thinking through how your work relates to your main priorities or indeed the key strategic goals of your organisation.

Write yourself a Future letter. Things should seem a whole lot clearer to you when you do.

Paint a powerful image in your own mind of what you want to achieve and find a few simple ways to remind yourself daily of that top-down perspective. This is why regiments have emblems, football teams have jerseys and special logos and countries have anthems and flags.

Ask your team: What are the three most important things we can be doing to help get us to this vision? Agree how you are all going to keep yourselves focused on that specific vision without getting distracted by the “small stuff”.

"Regular Pruning of the Hedges". One of the hardest tasks of all is the actual pruning process. In order to prune, we have to be prepared to take out the clippers and get rid of the unnecessary. Otherwise, the roses will be stifled and not blossom as nature intended them to. You can’t be everything to everyone. In fact, to be effective you’ve got to start making some choices about what you’ll be to whom. So stop the doing for a moment. And turn your attention to the interacting.

Action:

• Who are the three internal people who matter most?
• What do they want? What does that tell you?
• Who are the three external people (or groups of people) who matter most? What do they want? What does that tell you?

Once you are clear in your mind what work matters, start saying no to the superfluous. What are you choosing to say Yes to today?

Don’t take my word for it –

Arthur Schopenhauer (German philosopher): "Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."

Samuel Johnson: "Distance has the same effect on the mind as on the eye."

Albert Einstein: "In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."

Mao Tse Tung: “We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.”

You can read the full article on my web site

What Does it Take to Build and Maintain Exceptional Teams?

On the day that Chelsea played Manchester United in Moscow, I began to wonder what it takes to stay at the top of one’s game? I was curious about Alex Ferguson and the traits that have made him so exceptional as a football manager. And was there anything that we might learn from him? Here are my thoughts…

Personal Drive: Ferguson never gives in. He refuses to accept defeat and he has infused his United teams with the same attitude - they just keep going to the final whistle. It is because of this that United have scored so many late goals down the years, rather than leaving it to pure luck. Even when he has a success under his belt, he never rests. He is always looking to the future. And he is not afraid to start all over again when that moment of victory has gone.

Tactics/Strategy: Ferguson is a manager who is not afraid to follow his instincts or to take a gamble. His instincts, whether it be luck or some sort of intuition, always seem to be right. From an early age, Ferguson was exposed to the Scottish working-class work ethic of hard graft and toil. He has instilled that same hard work ethic into Manchester United. No team works harder than Fergie's United.

Player Management/Psychology: Alex Ferguson is probably the greatest motivator in European football. Player motivation is a finely balanced art. Too much of it every day and it can eventually have no effect, and the constant pressure of it can also destroy players.
He will always gets the best out of his players and demand 100%.

His handling of United's young stars has also been first class, protecting the likes of Giggs from frenzied media attention. In the Cantona "kung-fu kick" incident, Beckham's 1998 World Cup ordeal and Ronaldo after the 2006 World Cup, he stuck by his players and supported them through the difficult times, which in the end they repaid him with great comeback performances.

Ferguson will rarely attack his players in public or in the media. If they have under-performed or done something stupid, he will leave his criticism to behind closed doors. He can also be ruthless. If it is for the good of the team Ferguson will not hesitate to swing the axe. Fergie's rivals fear and respect him above all other managers.

His achievements at United and Aberdeen make him the most successful British manager ever, on the continent only Giovanni Trapattoni, Fabio Cappello and Ottmar Hitzfeld can even come close. The Glazer family knew it needed him on their side when they launched their takeover. They could not incur the wrath of the man who built a dynasty.

• So, what are you building with your team?


• How will you be remembered as a manager?


• What is the one thing that you want to do differently? And what’s the first step to making that happen?

Why not let me know what you intend to change by sending me an e-mail at: olwyn@pure-potential.co.uk?

You can read the full article on my web site